My Life As Yamcha
by Hector Flores
Summary: A College Student gets his childhood wish, but as the saying goes, you really should be careful what you wish for, or you just might get it. Let's see how our friend deals with this new reality shall we?
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Dragon Ball this is a fanfiction.

 _AN: Those that love the entire Vegeta and Bulma pairing I would advice to look at another story cause this one will not be to your liking, you have been warned._

I will be the first person to admit it, I like anime, manga, video games and science fiction movies. I couldn't be more of an Otaku even if I tried. My name is Hector Flores, and due to my hobby, I am not what you call a very social person. Let's face it, I spend most of my days either playing video games, doing homework, reading manga online or watching anime.

I know that might seem impossible but I am an actual college student, and sometimes I just need a break from some of the horrible things my professors assign as homework. I am a student studying a Bachelor degree in Information Systems with a minor in Systems Engineering.

You would think that I would be learning mostly how to fix computers, and learning programming language, well you would be wrong. The amount of math and other subjects I have to get through is quite large. You would never realize that your favorite games had more to do with math than you realize till you begin studying my major.

Out of all the anime I ever watched, there are three that I hold to as my favorites, first being Dragon Ball, I loved to see the way a spiky haired kid, beat entire armies into oblivion with nothing more than an extendable stick. The other two were Macross and last but not least One Punch Man. If I had to pick one I would pick Dragon Ball for the whole Goku is pretty much invincible, at least when he was a kid, and because it holds one of my childhood crushes.

I have watched the entire series so many times, I could probably tell you that if there is a person I hated in the entire series besides Roshi, cause I don't like how he treated my childhood crush, is Yamcha. I know many would say Krillin is the worst character in the entire series.

I, however, would disagree, to me the worst character is that good for nothing, lazy, disrespectful little creep that is Yamcha, how much do I hate this character? Well when I saw him die, most people would be sad. I actually was cheering when I saw him get killed. I actually consider the fact that they made a wish on Shenron to revive him, a waste.

First off the man is a bandit, so he is not that dependable or trustworthy, not a real productive member of society now that I think of it, and I think he even flirted with Goku's future wife when she was a little girl, I mean the only friend he has is an emotionally scarred transforming blue cat.

So it goes without saying that I really hate him, I do however have to envy one thing about him. He got to live with a beautiful girl, go on wild adventures with Goku, and even became a professional baseball player, in the end, I do have to admit the creep is a good friend to Goku and the others, and my hatred might be a little bias, alright it is completely envy and rage based but still I do feel it is deserved.

My latest project is actually rather funny. I have been studying ways to actually make the Capsules that appear on the anime work in the real world. The more I study the actual requirements and things that need to happen I realize it is fiction, but I somehow felt that the capsules if they work on they would be the answer to so many things, from shipping to dealing with disposable of dangerous substances.

I was told I was insane, and let's face it, the first prototype of the capsule I am working on is as big as a room in a warehouse. The thing that always gets to me is the whole compression of mass and to be able to return that mass to the original state once taken out of storage. Sure I figured a way to compress something to fit inside one of those capsules sure, but the thing was never the same afterward.

The amount of energy required to do it is also a problem, the amount was massive. If the fact that the item being compressed was pretty much destroyed was bad, the cost of provided the necessary amount of energy to do it was not economically viable.

I thought that I could go down the route Pokeballs did for a second, digitize the matter that I want to store, and have it reconstructed when the device was used again, but a few mentions of the absolute horrors what the military could use them for, and that idea was deleted and I was happy to delete it.

The only alternative was to find a way to do this without causing a miniature black hole from forming. Now that I think of it, I think one of the characters in one of the anime I watched actually could do that.

The idea was considered at best a foolish idea, and at worst an insane idea, I somehow wondered if Dr. Brief actually had this sort of comments when he invented the Capsules. Anyways I am distracted, I build my lab in the outskirts of the city I was born, for obvious reasons, the warehouse was cheap to rent, and the experiment would cause no damage to anyone other than me.

That's right, I am trying to make something that would improve the lives of millions, but even my professors consider it so insane that nobody is actually helping me do it. Why couldn't I been born in the universe of Dragon Ball, the place is constantly threatened by ungodly monster true, but at least I could try to invent something my peers call insane and nobody would treat me like a weirdo.

I finally managed to make the device as small as a basketball, and that is when everything went wrong. I turned the capsule on, the compression was going just fine and when the item I was trying to store within the device actually scraped the inside of it, it cause the compression to go out of control and the thing that got sucked into it was not the broken wreck of a car that I was using for the experiment, the thing that got sucked in was me.

It was then as I was trying desperately to hold on to dear life, hoping that I could hold on till the power was too much and the breakers would kick in that I came to realize two things. First I really needed to have spent more time hitting the weight room at my local college and less time watching anime, playing games, and reading books at the college library.

The second thing is I sure understood what Doctor Frankenstein felt, I mean here I am getting killed by my own creation, I couldn't be more like him even if I tried. Maybe in my next life I would be born something better, a Namek wouldn't be bad, I would sure save a ton of money on my grocery bill alone, hell, I am going to die, I would actually wouldn't mind being born as Krillin for all I care, I know I would certainly be happy with 18 taking care of me. Why not, I would even be happy being reborn as the emo prince of all Saiyans too.

As everything went dark, I came to realize that the whole white light nonsense didn't happen. Next thing I know I am getting touched by a soft furry hand I think, please dear god don't tell me I was reborn in Zootopia, if I was I probably want to kill that police chief.

Someone was definitely touching my face, my forehead and for some reason, this person was really concerned about me. I have to admit, I was feeling rather touched, literately, that someone actually cared.

"Wake up! Oh, come on Yamcha they didn't hit you that hard. Heck, I got worse hits than that and I am fine. So come on, stop freaking me out! Wake up already, how long are you going to just stay there pretending your unconscious with your head on my lap! I know you said my fur is soft but this is getting ridiculous."

I opened my eyes and I saw a human shaped cat person and indeed my head was on her lap. I quickly touched my head and looked around and saw I was in a dirty, cave that not even a bear would call his home.

"Is that you Puar? Where are we?" She looked like she helped me get on my feet, and looked rather feeling a bit relief after I stood on my feet. She didn't look like anything I remember her being in the old anime, my god, she was actually quite pretty.

"I managed to get away from those guys we tried to rob, our car is pretty much totaled with all the gun shots it took when I was trying to get away, I guess you could say you got knocked out when that big guy tried to kill you with that mace."

Well look at life on the positive side for once, I actually got my wish or at least partially, I was indeed reborn in my favorite all cartoon. The place didn't look at all like in the anime, Puar sure as hell didn't look like the blue cat I saw before. I wonder how different the other characters look.

Now let's look at the negative, I was reborn, not a Namek, oh no, not even as Krillin, God must have a sense of humor, I swear this is not funny at all, at least not for me, I was reborn as the one character I hated most in the entire series, I am the good for nothing, Yamcha. Is this a sick joke or am I getting punished for something I did, it sure felt like a punishment since I am Yamcha the desert bandit.

"You know Puar I been thinking about things, and that whole beating I got made me realize something, being a bandit means that everyone is against us. I think we should change the way we do things. I also need to get more serious about training, maybe you could teach me some of your transforming techniques."

I swear the blue feline actually began to smile at me, "I been telling you that for years, who know you only needed a good hit on the head to make you see reason. I should have changed into a mace and hit you myself!"

I looked at her and began to shake my head, "Honestly Puar, are you sure you are my friend? Cause that is not something nice to tell your only friend you know. I think the only person that would say that to a friend is that pig bully you once told me about."

She stopped talking the second I said that and looked at me with a rather shocked look on her face, "I am sorry Yamcha, it's true, I did sound like that worthless bastard Oolong didn't I? So what do you think we should change besides you getting more serious about training?"

I looked at her and began to smile, "I think we should pick the people we rob better than that, I actually think we will actually have an easier time if we hit other criminal groups, and give the money back to the people they robbed blind. I think we will feel better about being the way we are if we do that."

I swear she began laughing, "I actually like the idea, a thief that steals from another thief has 100 years of forgiveness, after all, we might actually become able to help a lot of people, you might even finally get over your embarrassment and get yourself a girlfriend."

So that is how I decided to begin my life as Yamcha, instead of being the desert bandit he was in the anime, I would begin my life as Yamcha as being the Dragon Ball equivalent of Robin Hood.

The training was actually quite fun, and the fact that we hit groups that made life horrible to other people made me quite happy. Good thing I knew so much about the Dragon Ball universe, I was able to know who to hit, and how.

I have been doing my Robin Hood routine pretty much for a week now, and I got to say I realized one thing, Puar is a good friend and trustworthy partner. I sure got used to having her around, the only thing I didn't get used to is the fact that the whole cat look was a way for her to look innocent and be able to scout out her enemy.

I decided to ask Puar to cut my hair short, I know that some guys prefer it long, but the long hair got in the way of the actual work we had to do, and you never heard this from other people but wearing a bandanna while having long hair tends to make you sweat something awful, water conservation is a big thing when fighting in the desert.

I have been hearing bad things about a group of people they call themselves the Red Ribbon Army, I know I am not prepared to hit someone that tough yet, but I decided to keep an eye out to see if I find Goku and Bulma. If I must be Yamcha I might as well decided to be a good friend to Goku, alright I admit it, I also wanted to check out Bulma, let's face it if Puar is that beautiful in her natural state, Bulma must be close to a goddess and I definitely wanted to see that.

For some reason, Puar was always asking me why I didn't get flustered anymore when we returned the things other crooks stole. I got to admit, that I got quite a few hugs from some rather pretty young women when I managed to get their things back. The Yamcha from the anime would have been out like a light if he got the hugs I got, but for some reason, it really didn't affect me.

"I don't know what to tell you, my friend, I just think that the people are happy they got back their belongings, they even gave us some money for helping them. Come on Puar, let's see if we can do some good today. Who knows maybe I will meet the unlucky girl that will become my girlfriend."

She asked me why did I saw unlucky, "Yamcha you are one of the nicest guys I know, and I got a lot of brothers, why do you say that the girl that becomes your girlfriend is unlucky?"

I couldn't help but to scratch the side of my face where my scar was. "I don't think many fathers would approve of me as a boyfriend to their daughters, my income is not what you call stable or sufficient, and I got more enemies than not, we do some good Puar, but even you got to admit our way of life is rough."

She began to nod her head and smiled as in her kitty form she floated and stood on my shoulder. "I wouldn't worry too much Yamcha, maybe you will make some girl really happy. If that never happens you know you can always count on me, I will never abandon you like your folks did."

I smiled and began to look through my binoculars, "At the very least my feline friend, I did find a treasure when you became my friend. Thank you Puar, I feel a whole lot better."


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Dragon Ball this is a fanfiction.

I kept looking through my binoculars just to make sure, "Puar, just checking, is the bully that used to pick on you in the transformation kindergarten was obese, cry baby, stupid looking pig or did he look like that because he actually was dropped repeatably when he was a baby?"

She actually became quiet for a few minutes, "Well actually Yamcha that is a really interesting question, but before I laugh myself silly mind asking me why did you need to ask me about my old bully?"

I handed her the binoculars and I could hear her claws scratching the surface of them as she looked through them, "Because he is actually in a car with two other innocent people, that don't know he is not helping them at all. Just before you say it I get dibs on kicking those porkers teeth in."

She handed me the binoculars and was practically in tear, "You mean you will actually hurt him bad enough or actually kick his teeth in? Just for little old me? Yamcha it's time like these that really make me realize how lucky I am to be your friend."

I started our own clunker and decided to ask them where they were going, as I got closer I realized something this is the moment when Bulma, Oolong, and Goku is searching for the dragon balls. They were probably going to the mountain that was constantly on fire. Which only means two things, Bulma has not checked the Dragon Radar in awhile or she just can not check it, and Oolong has been lying to them pretending to be their guide."

I decided to go with the pig trying to get as far away from the burning mountain, all in other not to risk his bacon, and decided to talk with her. "Excuse me Miss, but could you stop for a second I need to speak with you for a bit."

She actually stopped and I had to slam the breaks to be able to stop near her. "Sorry for the dust, my name is Yamcha, and my friend is Puar, we are a pair of vigilantes that help the towns in this area against bandits and other criminals. Now I couldn't help but see that you are traveling with a well-known kidnapper of beautiful women, so I need to ask you are you and your little brother alright? Has that pig forced you to do something against your will?"

She took off her shades and her baseball cap, I know I first thought I was unlucky to be reborn as Yamcha, but considering who I am looking at, and the fact the anime did her no justice, I was trying very hard to look normal. I mean she was beautiful in the anime, sure, cute and friendly to be certain.

The Bulma that I was looking at was nothing like that at all, this was a woman, there was none of that whole girlish side of her from what I could tell, she was proud, confident and had a strong personality if the way she was standing was any indication.

"The pig is named Oolong and he promised to guide us to the home of the Ox King, you see we are sort of in a treasure hunt. Trust me the pig is no danger to me at all, and the boy near me is not my brother he is my friend Goku."

I looked at Goku, and yep, he had the spiky hair, the martial arts uniform and a rather banged up looking pole strapped to his back. He actually looked a lot taller than I thought he was in the anime.

"Well that makes things easy then, Bulma I don't mean to be rude here but you are actually headed in the wrong direction, actually if you keep going the way you have been going you would be going away from the place you want to go. My guess Oolong there lied because he knows the place is a mountain that is on fire and guarded by the owner with a massive battle ax."

Puar came floating out of my old car and was floating right next to me, "I knew that I could recognize that fat liar. Yea Yamcha that is the lying drop out that used to bully me back in our kindergarten. We will happy to guide you to your actual destination, our car has satellite tracking after all. We just need to take care of that lying pig."

Oolong jumped off the back seat and came running after Puar trying to hit her, that was the moment I decided to say something, especially since I hear Goku's stomach growl. "You know I happen to know a great recipe for whole roasted hog if you guys are feeling hungry." That made Oolong look at me and before he could even move I jumped and caught him in my arms.

Damn it if the guy didn't try some dirty things to get away from me. "Goku some friend you are, here is a man who might as well be a lying bandit and he is going to try and make a meal out of me, what is it you do? You just stand there looking at him try and roast my behind!"

My good friend Puar finally decides to say something I was actually about to say, "Actually we wouldn't eat you if our lives depended on it. I happen to remember your poor hygiene habits from when we were classmates."

I decided to put end to the monkey business and walked really close to Oolong, "Let's get a few things straight, I am very overprotective of my friends, Puar is practically my sister, and if I so much as hear that you even thought of bullying her like you did, there is no place you can hide from my wrath. I will chase you to the very depths of hell if only to make you pay!"

I walked towards Puar and scratched her behind her ears to calm her down, "And if I have to spell it out to you piggy, I might become friends with the beautiful young woman and her monkey-tailed friend there, but I am not any friend of yours. So mess with my friends and you will get penciled in for an early visit with the Grim Reaper, courtesy of yours truly."

I looked at Bulma blushing, and began to wonder why was she acting this way? Anyways I better help her before the pig lies even more to her. "The place you are headed is the property of the Ox King, and his daughter, he reacts violently to those he feels are bandits or thieves, mainly anything that is like Oolong."

She looked at me and began looked at Oolong, "As for getting there I will be more than happy to help you find your way. First and foremost, however, you will need to excuse us a little bit, Puar could you please cook up something nice for our friends and sadly Oolong to eat, try to keep the poison to a minimum we wouldn't want to give piggy here a merciful death now would we?"

Puar began to laugh at the look on their faces, it was all a joke, but I got to say the look of shock on Oolong's face was priceless, I sure wish I had taken a photo of it.

Puar was not only a great medical support, bookkeeper, and ally, she was also a world-class chef. I kid you not that feline saved me a ton of money thanks to the inventive ways she knew how to make meals.

"Now not to embarrass Puar, but you two are in for a treat. As for you piggy, I will not let you eat our food until you apologize to Puar which I know you are too stubborn to actually do, so there are some mushrooms about half a mile south of here that you can eat, or hopefully something there is hungry enough to eat you!"

In a matter of minutes, she unpacked our portable kitchen and food storage from our capsules. "I got to visit Capsule Corp one of these days, I hope that one day I can talk shop with the maker of these ever convenient capsules."

I looked at Puar and she smiled at me, "You and your inventing hobby Yamcha, honestly I don't know how you managed to keep that secret from me, and I knew you since we both were little kids. My friend Yamcha might not look it, but he is the one that keeps everything we own in working order, a true electronics mad scientist if there ever was one."

I tried not to blush as my friend said that last comment, "Just because my last invention went a little wrong doesn't give you the right to call me a mad scientist. I mean it would have revolutionized waste disposal technology by leaps and bounds."

Bulma walked up to me, "Excuse me I gather that you are quite impressed with the capsules, but I happen to be the daughter of the man who invented them, and I am a scientist and inventor myself. Mind telling me about that failed experiment? Pretty please."

How could I possibly say no to that, anyways it would take a little bit for Puar to finish cooking. "My invention was a matter organizer. It was supposed to use microscopic robots to sort, separate and package materials from the local landfills. In other words, separate the recyclable from the organic, and deconstruct the other nonorganic matter into the basic building blocks."

Bulma began to look at me with a smile, "Actually that is a wonderful idea, with the amount of garbage most cities make we will run out of space in the landfills before too long. So how much progress have you made so far?"

I decided to take something out of my pocket, the small cube changed into a small droid. "Don't be rude say hello Evo." The small robot bowed to Bulma. "This is Evo, my Environmental Virtual Organizer. To be able to do what I plan I would need to be able to build a million of these little guys, and I simply don't have the materials and manufacturing capacity to do that."

As Puar finished cooking I placed Evo on the garbage can, my little robot went to work without even me having to ask. In a matter of seconds, it sorted and dealt with the garbage. "See Evo here is really a money saver if you think about it. I can sell all these recyclable materials and the organic I can leave to fertilize the ground."

She picked it up and realized that it was even clean. She immediately began rubbing her face against it, lucky Evo, which she would be doing that with me too.

"I think you are right, this little guy is wonderful. Why did your friend Puar say that you had a failure?" I told her Evo as of right now can't distinguish between rock, metals, and crystals. I tried to see if Evo could be used as a mining tool, but I told Bulma that was a complete failure on my part, "Evo simply doesn't have the processing power to do something that delicate."

Puar came floating right next to me and was smiling for some reason, but not in the happy way I would expect. "Yamcha kindly puts Evo away, or the food is going to get cold." I guess while I was talking with Bulma she finished cooking, she even managed to set a table too. The thing that I still didn't understand what's with the jealous attitude?

I went and sat down till I looked at Oolong taking a seat. "Puar did the pig apologize?" She flat out said that he insulted her the entire time she was cooking and said that he told her he would sooner take a dive off into an active volcano than actually ever apologize to her.

"Alright, then I will have you get your bacon off that seat, cause you aren't eating any of our food." Oolong looked like I was kidding, that is when I pulled my sword and with a simple move, moved it so that the blade was resting right beneath his chin.

"Off the table or Off with your head, your choice." He looked at me and even pretended to cry as I said that. If this guy thinks crocodile tears are going to work on me he sure has a lot to be disappointed off.

"Oh, come on mister, I am still a growing boy, how can you be so cruel just cause I actually act my age. How about showing me some mercy? You might make a good impression on the babe with the killer rack if you do."

I took back the sword and he must have thought that I was kidding, but he barely evaded my attack. "Hey what's the deal? You could have killed me had I not evaded that." Seeing that he was the chair I looked at him.

"I said off the table or off with your head. You can pretend to be a kid, but let's face it you are as much an adult as I am. You can drive a car, buy alcoholic drinks, and no kid talks in such a disrespectful way about a young lady. So instead of just apologizing to Puar, now you will apologize to her and to the other young lady you insulted or kiss eating any of our food goodbyes. If you start telling me you will starve to death, well you dying wouldn't be much of a loss to me."

I sat down and placed my sword aside to strap it back on my body later, I began eating and I had to admit Puar really out did herself, "You know Puar the food tastes great, thanks for doing so much for me and preparing this meal. Don't worry, I will wash the things after we get done eating."

Bulma looked at Puar smiling, and then she looked at me. "Thank you for trying to defend my honor, I guess I haven't introduced myself, my name is Bulma. Like I said we are on a treasure hunt for the mystical dragon balls."

I looked at Puar as I finished my meal and I got up from my seat. I actually pretended to be going to serve myself a second helping, but my intention was something different altogether.

"Honestly you are just going to serve yourself seconds and you are leaving me to starve? How cruel can you get! I am going to develop a bleeding ulcer thanks to that black pit most people call a heart of yours."

I didn't stop and get a second helping right in front of him, "You know the condition for you to eat the food my friend made, either apologize or starve, it's not matter to me if you die, as a matter of a fact I think there are quite a few people that would say letting you die is a favor to the world."

He finally broke down in tears and real ones this time. "Fine you heartless bastard, I am sorry for picking on your all those years we knew each other Puar, and I am sorry for treating you wish such disrespect Bulma, I promise to treat you both as anyone should treat a pair of kind ladies like you. Now can I please eat some of that wonderful food?"

I set the dish I was supposedly getting second and placed it on a seat near him. "Why do you think I was getting that supposed second serving? All you needed to do is apologize and treat these ladies with respect, you did, so get off the ground, wash your hands and come eat before it gets cold."


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Dragon Ball this is a fanfiction.

I looked at the dishes as I finish cleaning and drying them, "So Yamcha what exactly do you do out here in the desert?" I looked and was quite surprised it was Goku that asked me that question. Guess he isn't as immature as I figured.

"I am part of what you might call the Desert Rangers. It's a group of vigilantes that patrol and live in the desert. We are mainly people that got sick and tired of the way crooks used to use the desert as a means to evade the law. You know no police jurisdiction exists out here, they only protect the towns and sometimes small villages."

I looked at Puar as I began drying my hands. "Puar and I started the group and we got the title from some grateful people we saved. Currently, the Rangers are about fifty of us, they live in the towns and villages that are across this desert."

I looked at Oolong, "In truth, we should report that the infamous womanizer Oolong has been caught. I, however, see that you want to get to the home of the Ox King, guess I will just have to report it at the nearest outpost."

Oolong looked at me and I didn't like the way he was looking at me one bit, "You know Yamcha the Ox King is more likely to try and kill you than me, you look the part of a bandit more than I do."

Puar began laughing so much she came crashing down on the table and began pounding the table with her first. As soon as she finished laughing she looked at her old school bully, "You might not know by looking at him, but Yamcha here trained under the Ox King, I would be more worried that he tries to get Yamcha to accept a marriage contract with his daughter."

I walked over and served myself some of the last of the tea. "Well as flattered that I am that my old teacher wants me to join his family, I couldn't do that to him or his daughter. I know Chichi is quite cute, but I have a feeling she is destined for someone else."

For some reason Bulma was glaring at me, "You mean to tell me that you were the student of the Ox King, and he tried to get you to accept a marriage engagement to his daughter? How old is this daughter of his?"

I began to look for my wallet and began to look for a picture. I think I have a recent picture from the last time we had dinner together. I finally found it, wouldn't you know it, even EVO placed a mark on the picture, if I didn't know better I would say my little EVO had a crush on the girl on the picture.

"Here it is, the last picture we took with him and his daughter, kind of tragic really, this was the last time we were inside that large home of his, I hear it went up in flames a few weeks after we were there."

I gave her the picture, "This is the Ox King, my mentor, and the girl with the strange helmet right next to me is Chichi, my mentor's daughter. As you can see she is about seven to eight years old. I would honestly need to be as perverted as Oolong to even consider getting engaged to someone that young."

Bulma handed me back my wallet, "But you do think she is cute, I hate to admit it, she is rather cute. I imagine she will grow up to be quite the bombshell once she finished growing up. Are you sure you wouldn't want to accept that marriage contract, only with the date set say ten of twelve years from now?"

I couldn't believe Bulma was acting like this, honestly, I didn't expect it from her. "I told you, she is destined for someone else, I mean I even asked old Baba about it. She told me I was right in my guess, she is destined to marry someone else, according to her someone that is not of this world."

I put back my wallet but not before giving Oolong a good hit on his head as he tried to steal it. " Careful with that hand piggy, of the big bad wolf might want to have you for dinner." He looked at me and smiled for some strange reason.

"Oh he can puff and huff till he is out of breath, I would hide in my home and there he would not be able to touch a hair on my chin." A little after dinner theater courtesy of me and Oolong and this made Bulma forget all about the supposed times my mentor tried to get me engaged to his daughter.

I said good evening to them and decided to go back to where Puar and I usually sleep. I do realize that Bulma actually has a rather nice capsule home and my place to say it is humble would be a clear understatement.

Let's face it we live in a cave in the middle of the desert, with the only heavy sheet we own as both door and protection from the weather, temperature and the odd low flying buzzard. "You know Yamcha you could have probably been able to ask Bulma to let you sleep inside that comfortable house he has. Why did you come back with me to the cave?"

I looked at Puar and began shaking my head, "For two obvious reasons my dear friend, one if I am going to live in comfort so are you, and since you sleeping in that nice comfortable house means you basically have to endure Oolong that would not be very comfortable. Secondly, if we did sleep there Oolong would probably try and do something both mean and stupid to you."

I began making a fist and looking at her, "And I would more than likely have to kill that stupid pig. Not a very polite thing to do when someone lets you sleep in their portable home now is it? I am not going to abandon you Puar, just like you would never abandon me. Come on sis, we need to get to sleep and wake up early."

She looked at me with a smile and I got into my usual spot in the cave that I sleep on. "And why do we need to get up early Yamcha?" I just leaned into the back of the cave and closed my eyes. I told her that we might have to chase down Oolong since the cowardly pig would either run away, steal anything valuable, do something immoral or all of the things I just mentioned.

That is when I punched the wall and suddenly Oolong changed shape and fell down hard on the cave floor. "First off I would never do something like steal from Bulma and Goku has nothing other than that freaky pole. She is too valuable of a mark to waste on petty theft. Secondly only an insane person would go to that mountain with a smile on their face, and last but certainly not least how did you know I was there?"

I turned around and looked at him, he became rather quite while I glared at him, "I live in this cave and thus I know it. There was an unusual stench coming from that spot, so what is your game plan Oolong? Try to find some dirt on me and Puar? Try to drive a wedge between Bulma's little band of treasure hunters and us?"

He looked at me with the puppy dog eyes look and when he realized that didn't work he just sat down on the cave floor and looked at Puar. "Actually I was waiting for both of you to fall asleep so I could use a permanent marker and draw doodles on both of your faces."

I looked at the stupid pig, "If you have a death wish, sure you can do that. I did tell you I think of Puar like she is my sister, and anyone that dares to do something so monumentally stupid to her, well dipping you in batter and deep frying you while alive is the least I can do. I'll leave you staked to the ground and let the animals of this desert have you as a meal, as they pick your bones clean."

That pretty much had the intended reaction, he took off like hell itself was after him and would never mess with Puar. I closed my eyes and went to sleep. Puar even did something I was not expecting, she slept near me so that the cold desert wind would not cause me to catch a cold.

As I woke up I found that Puar was missing, thinking of that lousy pig I went outside ready to make good on my threat. I walked towards the house Bulma made appear from one of her capsules until I heard two people laughing.

"Honestly Puar I wouldn't have minded if you and Yamcha came and slept inside my portable home, it has plenty of rooms." I heard my feline friend laugh as she heard that from Bulma. I would have gladly accepted that offer, except that there was one person in her home that I wanted to protect Puar from.

"Yamcha might not look it, but he is a true gentleman through and through, he told me the only reason he didn't even ask was because I would have to be in a place close to Oolong, I guess I told Yamcha quite a few horror stories about when I went to school with that lying porker."

It appears that both Puar and Bulma were making breakfast. "So you see, he would never put me at risk of being bullied by Oolong. He can be so overprotective sometimes, he forgets that unlike Oolong, I actually am a master of the transformation technique. As it stands I am more than capable of defending myself."

I walked towards the window where I heard those voices and began walking towards the front door. 'You may be tough Puar, but there is no way in hell that I am letting that porker do anything bad to you, not when I am around.' As soon as I reached the front door I saw something I should be shocked but knowing this world like I do it was no surprise.

Goku was cutting up some wood with his bare hands. "You know Goku, I got a pretty nice sword that I can use to help you with that." He kept hitting the large log into pieces, and only after he had a pile of them he turned around and looked at me with a smile.

"I would never do something like that, my grandpa taught me that I must not become dependent on weapons, I must train my body so that I can defend myself and that which I hold dear, for when you do that you shall be the sword and no one will be able to make you defenseless."

As Bulma and Oolong finished getting ready, I sat down on the driver seat and began to adjust the mirrors. "Mind telling me why you are driving her car? You know I can drive and have a license too."

I looked at Oolong and then at Puar who by the looks of it had the exact same idea, "Because if you drive you would drive away from the place Bulma and Goku want to go. I don't trust you pig, and let's face it you are more interested in saving your own bacon than helping them."

Oolong sat down on the back seat between Bulma and Goku, "That is because you need to be insane to go to that mountain. The Ox King is more than likely going to kill all of you, and when that happens this pig is not going to stay around."

As we began to get near the mountain Puar actually had to change into a ball and chain and used her new form to tie Oolong, on more than one occasion he actually tried to escape, had it not been for two important facts, Goku could chase him on his cloud, clobber him with his power pole and drag him back, and I already knew what he could do.

As we reached the place I began to feel the heat of the place, the heat sure didn't seem to be this bad in the anime, but now feeling it myself I was sweating like I was in a sauna for too long.

" **EXCUSE ME, OX KING SOME PEOPLE NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU, IT'S ME YAMCHA YOU DO REMEMBER ME DON'T YOU?"**

The situation was bad if he didn't even recognize my voice. That is when a large shadow began to appear and come towards us. "Is that you Yamcha, wonderful, I hope Puar is doing alright. What brings my only student to what used to be my humble home?"

I could help but to laugh as I saw him holding his old battle ax. "Actually, two people wanted to come here because they are on a treasure hunt. Honestly Master, you should have told me your situation was this bad. Is there nothing we can do to put the fire out?"

He looked at me and began laughing, he may be in trouble but he was very much the same friendly man I remember him being. "Actually I wish I could ask Puar to go and find my daughter Chichi. I think she went to find Master Roshi's home."

That made sense, I do remember him having a fan that could be used to blow hard enough to cause these flames to extinguish. "So Chichi went to get the fan Master Roshi borrowed from you. I think I know someone who can help us both find Chichi and get a message to Master Roshi."

I don't remember the last time I saw the Ox King look so happy, "That would be great, as you know my fan is more than capable of extinguishing these flames and maybe I can finally see what is left of my home."

I walked over to the car and opened the door. Oolong being the coward that he stays in the car, or maybe afraid that the Ox King would not be as welcoming of such an obvious crook.

"Come on out people, and let me introduce you to my Master." Bulma came out and so did Goku, Puar was still in the form of a long chain and a ball tied to Oolong. No one knows the cowardly pig better than Puar.

I stood in front of both of them, "This lovely young lady is named Bulma, and she is the one looking for seven stars marked stone balls. This is Goku, he is the grandson of your friend and fellow student of Master Roshi."

He immediately went towards Goku and looked at him, "So your Gohan's son, so tell me Goku how is my old friend?" Well once Goku told him he died a long time ago, that pretty much made both him and Bulma seem a little sadder. I guess Bulma in this timeline was never told that Gohan was dead.

"So sorry to hear that Goku, your father was a fellow student of the Turtle School of Martial Arts, he was a good man and will be missed. As for you young lady, I appreciate you being honest with me. Let me tell you what, I actually have a stone ball with the markings of several stars on it, since you were so honest, and if you help me put out the flames in my home I will let you keep that old stone as a gift."

I looked at Goku and smiled, "Goku why don't you use your flying nimbus and do us a favor, we need you to find a girl wearing a strange hat, it sort of looks like a blade on top of it, and we also need you to find Master Roshi, tell him we need the fan he borrowed from the Ox King."

It didn't take him a second to whistle and sure enough the flying nimbus appeared, he jumped on it and took off.

"While Goku is away what else is new in your life Master? I happen to hear that there was supposed to be a fire a few weeks ago, but honestly, I didn't think it would be this bad, it's like the entire forest on top of this mountain is burning too."

He began laughing and he sat down near me and Bulma, "Oh I would have sent word to you, but I know how busy you been catching criminals out in the desert. It's thanks to your Rangers that we can actually feel safe sleeping outside."


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Dragon Ball this is a fanfiction.

Well after a long time Goku actually came with Chichi, if I remember correctly and from the way she was blushing, I guess Goku went through the whole touch to see if she was a guy thing. I have to admit that it would be either insulting to some women, and rather embarrassing to some others.

Goku was the first to jump down from the flying nimbus and was able to catch Chichi as she too jumped off. "So let me guess Goku, no luck with the fan?" He began to shake his head at me and I couldn't help but smile at him. He really was taking this rather hard.

"I wouldn't worry about it Goku, if my master said anything about Master Roshi is correct, he probably spilled pineapple juice all over it and decided to throw it out. Too bad he didn't come with you, he might have a way to blow out this fire, or at least apologize for throwing such a valuable family heirloom."

The second I finished saying that Chichi ran where I was and jumped up in the air, she hit me pretty hard and I fell down, as I looked up as I tried to get off the ground she jumped on top of me and hugged me. "Yamcha I missed you, how come you don't come to visit?"

I tried to dislodge her grip but she was not letting go anytime soon. "A little help here Master if you don't mind." The Ox King when and finally got her let go, much to her protest, Bulma was blushing like there was no tomorrow, and even as embarrassed as I was I found the gesture to be quite cute.

It was when I saw the bald man with the giant sea turtle that I realized that somehow Master Roshi found a way to reach us, I looked at the turtle and looked like he was thirsty. The only thing I could do was grab a bucket of water and add enough salt to make the mixture seem to have the same content of salt as in the ocean.

"I gathered from the way you look that you could use some salt water. I prepared a bucket of it, hope it's to your liking." Master Roshi just watched as I gave the bucket to the turtle and he began to drink it like it was the tastiest water he ever had.

"Oh, yes, that definitely hit the spot, thank you so much. Master Roshi asked to bring him here at such a high speed I was dying of thirst, thank you for being so considerate young man, might I know your name?"

I looked at the turtle and smiled, I remember how this turtle looked back in my original world, but now that I look at him it's a completely different experience. "You can call me Yamcha, I am a student of the Ox King, the blue flying feline is my good friend Puar, the kid on the cloud I think you met him, and you also met Bulma. I would watch out for the pig he is quite the crook."

Oolong looked at me with sheer hate in his eyes, "This is rich coming from a guy that lives like a desert bandit. I look at least a thousand times more trustworthy than you two do. For all, they know this is an elaborate plot to rob these people blind or kidnap this bimbo and sell her as a sex slave."

That does it, I ran as fast as I could towards Oolong and he tried to run away by transforming. I immediately picked a big rock and threw it at him causing him to come down hard and hit his head on the ground.

I walked over to him cracking my knuckles and looking at him pretending to be unconscious. "I will not allow you to disrespect Puar or insult a beautiful young woman like Bulma and get away with it. I hope you are hungry piggy because I got a knuckle sandwich with your name on it, and then if you don't apologize, your ass is dinner. I will roast you on those flames over there, I happen to have a wonderful family recipe for whole roasted hog!"

I saw him try to intimidate me with a supposedly scary transformation, he looked like a giant robot, that only made it easier for me to target my punch. I punched that pig hard enough that I sent him flying and his head hit a large rock a few hundred feet away.

"I am waiting to hear that apology pig, or I am starting to grab my glaze and start getting you ready to be roasted!" Oolong fell on his knees crying, he apologized and he confessed that he only said those things so that people would not trust me and let him escape when they turned against me.

"Can't you take a joke? I mean come on, I know that you are a frigging desert cop for crying out loud. I just wanted to break the ice, I am sorry if these lovely young ladies are insulted, but why do you have the honey glaze with you? If you don't mind me asking?"

I looked at the Ox King and he smiled at me, "Cause my master once taught me it makes for a good antiseptic, you be surprised how many things people use for cooking actually has medicinal applications. Thanks again master for teaching me basic field care."

He laughed and looked at me with a smile, Master Roshi was just listening and he began to laugh too. "I see my old student is still very much the same way he always used to be. It speaks rather highly of you to try and defend the honor of these two young ladies, now I don't know about you, but I am getting tired of this constant dry heat."

He took off his top and began to do a few motions, had I not known what it was, I would never have guessed it. "Alright people we need to step back and give the man a bit of room if I am not mistaken Master Roshi is about to pull off the Kamehameha Wave, we don't really want to get caught up in that."

As we basically ran for cover Bulma looked at me with a confused look on her face, "Why is this technique so dangerous? What is it exactly?" I looked at her and Goku was just staring at Roshi start to use his technique, his muscles just grew and his sweat was making said muscles shine.

"It's a technique Master Roshi invented, as far as I understanding it is to use all your willpower and turn it into this massive explosive energy and then blast that from your hands causing a massive explosion. Never seen it before, it should be quite the impressive sight to see."

I heard the words and saw the energy building in his closed hands and I have to say this is another instance where the anime or games didn't do this world justice, the sight was beyond anything I was expecting.

As the energy beam appeared it when through the air and suffocated the flames, it was so powerful that part of the surroundings was blasted to pieces as it came a little near the home of the Ox King. I could not believe it, he was supposed to only put out the flames, now the home of Chichi and her father was pretty much demolished.

"Opps, I guess I don't really my own strength these days. Sorry about that." I looked at Master Roshi looking all embarrassed and somehow I got the feeling this was just an act.

"Oh don't worry Master, I am just happy the flames are out, we can always rebuild. Now, young lady, Bulma was it? What exactly are you looking for?"

She took out one of the dragon balls and showed it to everyone present, Chichi just looked at it and just said she found it pretty. If the number of stars was right and I remember correctly this is the dragon ball Gohan had and Goku inherited when his adoptive father died.

Well, there is another can of worms I have to look forward to, having to explain to Goku that if he looks at a full moon he turns into a massive ape and more than likely it was he that killed his adoptive father when he looked at a full moon by mistake.

"I am looking for something like this, wouldn't you happen to have one?"

The Ox King went to what was left in his home and he began to brush some of the rubble away, he came back with a similar color ball, but with a different number of stars on the surface. "You mean something like this? It's an old family heirloom truth be told, I always found it to be something useless, of course, you can take it."

I looked at Goku and saw that he was trying to go through the motions we saw Master Roshi when he used the Kamehameha Wave, I thought why not try myself. I, of course, didn't stand in front of the car like Goku, I stood in the direction of a large rock formation.

"Listen, boys, it took me years to be able to do that attack, don't be too disappointing if you two fail alright." Now to some those might be discouraging, to me, it was a challenge, and I love challenging myself.

I felt the energy in my body and began to pull it towards my closed hands, I felt it grow bigger and bigger till it was hard for my to hold it and doing the motions almost at the same time, we both screamed, **"KAMEHAMEHA!"** The energy from my hand became a beam that went and hit the rock formation causing it to be blasted to pieced, Goku's went and caused Bulma's car to explode into pieces.

"Well that will show me to keep my big mouth shut, two boys just up and use and attack it took most of my life to develop like there was nothing easier to do. Ox King, you didn't teach this to your student didn't you?"

My master stopped laughing as he found Master Roshi staring at him, "Of course not Master, I can't do that attack myself, how in the world would I be able to teach him. Goku, Yamcha I have to tell you it is really impressive. From his two students, only Gohan was able to learn it. I think that after you two are done helping Bulma, you two should train properly under Master Roshi."

Personally, I would love to train with Goku, and Krillin but something tells me Master Roshi would never accept more than two students, and there is also the possibility that my training regiment might be a little too much for Krillin to try and imitate. I wouldn't worry about Goku, I am probably the second person in his entire life that knows how tough he can be.

"I would welcome the chance, but I must focus on helping Goku and Bulma on their treasure hunt, not to mention I have to keep them both safe from the clutches of a vile and evil creature that could threaten their lives."

Oolong just jumped up on the remains of Bulma's car and glare at me, "I guess the vile and evil creature you were referring to is me." I couldn't help but to laugh as he accused me of calling him a vile and evil creature, a nuisance sure, but the evil creature I was thinking of was a short blue skinned megalomaniac.

"Why would I consider you an enemy Oolong, you may be disrespectful, but I don't think you would harm a hair on Bulma's or Goku's head. I just want to make sure you respect people better than you did back in your school."

Puar flew right next to me and stopped as she stood on my shoulder. "That is right Yamcha he was always getting in trouble for being disrespectful with the teachers. That is one thing I like about living and working with you, you always treated me like a lady."

I began to rub the fur between my friend's ears. "That is because you are a lady Puar, now that Bulma's car is in pieces I guess we can use mine from now on. Unless of course, you got a second car capsule with you."

She actually began to laugh and looked at me and Puar, "Actually I don't mind if we use your car, just let me check on the radar which direction is the next dragon ball."

I pushed the button and our car appeared, granted it is not a new model, but it was a nice car. It never failed on me and Puar yet. As we got on board and saw Goku talking with Chichi, I saw him telling her something and blushing. Nice to see that he actually proposed to her much like as I remember. Too bad he will not have a clue what being engaged or what marriage is.

Bulma sat in the seat right next to mine and placed the fabled dragon radar on my car. "We need to follow that blinking arrow till we find the location of the next dragon ball. By the looks of it will be 500 miles to the next one."

I turned the car on and off we went, as we went along I realized that we had three dragon balls, but the location where the arrow was pointing had four dragon balls near each other. This gave me a bad feeling, if this was where I think it is, we will actually end up going to the base of the very same vile and evil creature I talked about.

I just hope that I can keep Bulma safe if things turn out the way I remember them happening. I guess this means the time for me to explain to Goku what really killed his adoptive father is coming sooner than I expected, not like this, I know Goku should know but I just don't want to hurt him for some odd reason.

I haven't known him for that long, but I can't help but think of him as my friend. I wonder if there are any ways that I can soften the moral blow when Goku learns that it was he who accidentally killed Gohan.

I looked at Bulma and for some odd reason I found the idea this woman felt like she needed to summon the great dragon Shenron to have a boyfriend was, shall we say plain stupid, for someone so intelligent and witty like her to have to wish for something like this must have been an error in the anime and manga I saw, I just couldn't believe it.

As we drove to the location we saw that all four dragon balls were sitting pretty on a cushion which just happens to be on a pedestal, almost like daring people to try and steal them. I looked at Puar and she looked at me with the same look on her face.

Bulma, however, was so excited that she and Goku took off like a dehydrated man would run towards an oasis. Oolong saw the balls and since he knew what they were used for he took the three we hand and decided to go after them. This had all the signs of Oolong trying to steal the four dragon balls from either Goku or Bulma as soon as they got them off that pedestal.

I and Puar could only say that we both felt stupid for actually doing this, but we could abandon Goku or Bulma in such an obvious trap. Sure enough, Oolong was far enough from the platform when the floor of the platform rose from the ground and began spraying a gas that made it very hard for me and the others to stay awake.

As soon as we woke up, we found ourselves chained to the wall of a dungeon, the sky was visible through a large window, the window had this almost cage built on under the window to prevent us from escaping.

The blue short man appeared in front of us, he appeared as a holographic projection. "So you are finally awake, I can't believe you would fall for such an obvious trap. Let's get to the business, shall we? Where is your friend that has your dragon balls? If you tell me now, I can guarantee your deaths shall be merciful and painless."

I looked at him and felt like my blood was ready to boil as I heard him say those words. "Like I would ever believe anything you say Pilaf. You might manage to trick your two goons with your lies, but you being merciful? I would sooner expect a rainbow appearing on a clear day, and a pot full of gold coins to appear at the end of it, before you actually say anything that is true."


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own Dragon Ball this is a fanfiction.

He looked at me and smiled, "So you know about me, it seems that I am more well known than I initially thought. So will you do the thing I expect, you tell me where your friend with the dragon balls are while begging for you miserable lives or are you going to continue this useless resistance and waste my time."

I had to think about it, I could honestly flip him off and told him what he could do, but there were Bulma and Goku with me. I looked at him could not help myself, I started laughing so hard I had a hard time breathing, did this moron actually think this would actually work?

Pilaf left us looking pretty angry, Bulma was shaking her head at me, I guess this is a perfect opportunity to ask what exactly was he going to wish for, I secretly hope that in reality, she was going to wish for something better than what I saw in the television show, cause that wish was probably the second most useless wish ever.

I looked at her and smile, "So Bulma now that we are sitting here mind telling me what you were planning to ask the dragon as your wish?" She looked at Goku who was fast asleep, then looked at me for a few second before looking at Goku a few more seconds.

After a few minutes, she looked at me, "I wanted to wish for a boyfriend." I heard this wish when I saw this scene on the television and now that I see what she actually looks like, I could not help but to shake my head and slap the side of my face to check if I had anything stuck in my ear.

"Bulma let me get this straight, you built a something to help you locate the dragon balls, to make a wish, and that wish is for you to get a boyfriend? You have to excuse me to me you are a very bright and your invention is wonderful, but after hearing that I have to ask you something and please don't get offended by this."

She looked at me and promised to listen to my question in a calm manner, I took a deep breath and decided to stop skipping around the bush, "Are you that stupid? My god woman have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You are one of the most beautiful women I ever was seen, you have a family that is filthy stinking rich, and you are smart, funny, and an absolute joy to spend time with."

She looked at me and to me, she looked a little confused, "By all rights Bulma you should be beating away potential suitors away with something like Goku's power pole, hell, any man with half a brain would want you for your looks alone. If I thought for a second you would like someone like me, I would say if you want a boyfriend, sign me up!"

She began to laugh as she heard me say that, "Actually I find what you said really flattering but in reality Yamcha, I am pretty average, there are a lot of women who are actually better looking than I am."

I would never figure that Bulma had an inferiority complex, honestly, I never would think that was possible knowing how she usually behaves. "Where exactly? Heaven? Cause to me you are the single most beautiful woman I ever met, you have looked, a great body, a wonderful personality, and are one of the smartest women in the world."

Her cheeks turned redder than a ripe tomato after she heard me say that, Puar actually looked down from the bars that were covering the ceiling, "Not that I don't enjoy seeing my best friend make a fool of himself by trying to shamelessly flirt with you Bulma, but how about we do something and I help you and my idiot friend escape from that dungeon cell you are in?"

Is it my imagination or is Puar actually jealous that I am actually flirting with Bulma?

I looked at Puar and couldn't keep it in, "If you were up there Puar why didn't you open that grate by now?" She laughing looking nervous and looked a little to her left. "Well I had a little trouble with a certain pig, he kept telling me to pretty much abandon you and the others, to keep the wish for ourselves."

If there was any part of me that ever trusted that lying pig, this pretty much killed it. "Well, Puar how about you getting us out of here." I guess the commotion actually made Goku look up, and wouldn't you know it, it was a full moon that night, and the sky was clear.

My young friend began to growl like a monster and began to grow in size so quickly, his face was beginning to look like an ape as he went and grew too big for the cage to hold, he apparently lost his mind, and began blasting the castle that Pilaf called home into rubble.

It was impressive to see it on the television, but this was something different altogether, the addition of potential danger, and having to carry Bulma in a fireman's carry was something that really made the entire situation quite the rush.

As we all ran for dear life we saw how devastating our young friend became after he looked at the moon, his adoptive father according to Master was one of the best fighters in the world, but after seeing the level of destruction Goku could cause after transforming it was clear this was something else.

As Pilaf and his people ran away from the rubble I jumped behind Goku, I actually had more knowledge than anyone present, and I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I took my sword and put every bit of my strength into a single attack, I had to cut off that his tail or else me, Puar and Bulma were going to be history.

As the tail of my young friend was cut he slowly began to return to normal size, as naked as the day he was born, but normal size. I honestly didn't want this to happen to Goku, how in the world would I explain that the reason his adoptive father died was that he transformed like he did last night, and accidentally crushed him.

That is the exact moment when I realized something, where are the dragon balls? That exact same moment I asked Bulma to check on the Dragon Ball Radar, that is when we realized that somehow the balls we actually had collected got dropped as we escaped the castle.

That is when we ran back to the ruins of the castle and just barely made it as the dragon was being summoned, Oolong just changed into the fastest bird known to mankind, and just as Shenron asked what was going to be the wish, Oolong screamed that he wished for a pair of silky panties.

If I didn't know any better, I would have asked Bulma to check if she was still wearing them. The thing is asking her to check if she was wearing panties would create two problems for me, one Goku accidentally took them off to check if she had anything like he did, and she more than likely ended up flashing her privates to Master Roshi.

This must be something so traumatic that if someone asked to check if she was wearing panties, chances are that she would try and blast them with a machine gun, just like she did to Goku, but the difference being that Goku is a Saiyan, he can withstand the impact of the bullet, me on the other hand am a simple ordinary human.

The other reason is that it could effectively kill any chances I ever have of ever having Bulma fall in love with me, so it would either kill me or kill my chances to actually have a relationship with her. Both of these outcomes were not something I would want to go through so I didn't even ask, turns out I didn't even have to ask, the idiot pig showed us the panties as he caught them in mid-flight and flew back to where we were.

I am not kidding the pig caught them in his beak and flew back with them still being held by his beak, and I don't know how or why but the panties looked to be pure silk, white silk and had a red ribbon on them, but right beneath the ribbon was an embroidered name, it was the name of Bulma.

I had to really jump up and try and stop Bulma from blasting Oolong out of the sky with her machine gun, which brings up an interesting question if she had a machine gun why were we captured? She began firing like a mad woman at Oolong, screaming about what is it with perverts stealing her unmentionables, crying all the time as she kept trying to make swiz cheese out of Oolong.

In truth Puar actually mentioned to Bulma something about target practice, I was looking at Bulma blushing when I don't know why but I took hold of her, hugged her close to my body and kissed her right on her lips, if I am going to watch my chance of being with this woman go down in flames might as well manage to kiss her at least once, or so I thought as I began to kiss her.

The kiss was supposed to be a simple friendly peck on her lips, you know the type that young boyfriends give to their girlfriends for the first time, but instead she placed her arms around my waist and was holding onto me like her life depended on it, and giving me a french kiss that would make a nun blush.

I just kept kissing her, and she kept kissing me, and we kept pretty much drinking each other's saliva for I don't know how long, the only thing I know is that in the end, she got her wish, she got herself a boyfriend and Puar was glaring daggers at her.

As the kiss ended I looked at my still angry friend, "Ok, Puar what exactly is eating you?"

She just flew between us to separate us and glared at me as she pointed her finger at me, "Alright, I know you are smart Yamcha, but let's see if you can figure this out, Oolong, my childhood bully got a wish, and by the looks of it so did Bulma, but where is mine? Why is it that everyone except me got their wish?"

I looked at Goku, "Aside from that, I didn't get a wish, neither did Goku, what exactly were you thinking up as a wish?"

She just looked at Goku, then me and finally Bulma, "So much for intelligence, I been your friend since we were kids Yamcha, and to counter what you said, Goku was knocked out and could not make a wish, and you did get your wish, Bulma fell in love with you! What is my wish you ask? For you to finally notice me!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, Puar actually said that she wanted me to notice her? I began to shake my head, "Puar, I mean you are my best friend in the entire world, of course, I acknowledge that, but really I always thought of you as a sister. I had no idea you actually harbor any romantic feelings towards me."

Well as far as everything was concerned Pilaf and his goons took off and I heard something I was expecting, Goku finally woke up. I was not looking forward to this conversation. I looked at Goku and smiled and tried to look as friendly as I could.

"Do you remember what happened last night Goku?" he looked at me and the others as Bulma tried to get him into some new clothes. I guess Bulma bought those clothes in her last town visit, or she actually received them from someone as a gift for Goku.

"All I remember is that we were in a cell, and I looked up towards where Puar was talking from, and I saw the moon. Gohan often said that I should not look at the full moon, we made several jokes that I might be a werewolf, but he actually never told me why I should never look at the full moon."

I looked at him and began to smile, to try and make the news that much easier, "Goku you are not a werewolf, but you do change when you see the full moon, you turn into a massive ape, and the reason we managed to escape and the reason the castle we were being held in is nothing more than rubble is simple. You destroyed it, you might feel a little strange because the only way to change you back to normal is for me to cut off your tail."

Goku did mention that he was feeling a little bit dizzy, and he looked and sure enough, he could not find his tail. "I wondered all this time why I was told to avoid looking at the full moon, I guess now I know. I found the broken body of Gohan, so it means that I must have accidentally looked at the full moon, and he tried to cut off my tail like you did, I must have accidentally killed him trying to defend myself."

He was taking this a whole lot better than I ever pictured, "I guess that means I need to train and learn to control myself a lot better. Master Roshi did tell me that I should go to his home if I ever wanted to receive some as he called it formal training."

I could not help but feel impressed when I saw how well Goku was taking things and his decision of bettering himself. I looked at Bulma and smiled, "I for one plan to go back with Bulma, to make sure she makes it back to her home safe and sound, my Evo needs a lot of work still, and maybe her father can give me both a little help with Evo, and maybe a better job."

Bulma actually agreed that he could do a lot better than be out in the middle of the desert. With a fond farewell to Goku, he took off in his cloud and I knew exactly where he was headed, for a second I was tempted to follow him, and train with him and Krillin.

I had another reason besides just spending time with Bulma, and her family, I knew that danger was a constant thing for this world, and I knew how many times the people would face Armageddon, only to have a few instances of peace. I also remember the gravity training chamber that I saw as a kid on the television back in my childhood.

If only I could make that thing now, and allow the people called the Z fighters to get stronger even before Raditz, Vegeta or Nappa showed up I might be able to prevent a few deaths. I also needed to improve the level of technology in I guess our world, to better defend against possible out of space invaders, the likes of King Cold, Frieza, and his siblings came to mind.

As we drove towards her family home, Bulma decided to ask me many things about what exactly was it that I liked, I guess she was trying to get to know me better, some of the things made me blush three shades of red, but I guess in the end it was to be expected.

She asked me my likes and dislikes about everything from food to clothing, I mean it, she didn't even blink an eye as she asked me in which position I lived to sleep with a woman, I know Bulma is very sure of herself, and confidence is easy to see from how she just stands, but to ask in which way I like to have sex was both embarrassing to me and causing my friend Puar to try really hard not to growl in frustration.

Her home I had to admit was another thing the anime did no justice it seems, the place may be home and laboratory, but the place looked more like a mansion than a home truth be told, it had five bedrooms, three bathrooms, four rooms for storage, a living room that you could hold a party in, a kitchen that made a restaurant kitchen look small by comparison, and a yard where a whole baseball team could build a baseball field including stands for people to what the game.

I said nothing, I was having enough trouble to hide my surprise as she told me of her home as I drove her car there. As soon as I got off the car, a man wearing glasses and a woman who apparently learned to see with her eyes closed came running out of her family's home.


End file.
